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I’ve been aggravating for hours to anticipate of how to acknowledge to the poor adolescent actuality who wrote me the letter below. Usually I acquaint adolescence in this bearings to artlessly lie to their parents: say you’re straight; smile a lot; get what adulation from them you can; get out. I admonish this because I apperceive generally “Christian” parents bandy their gay adolescence out of their house, and accepting to lie to your parents is a accomplished lot bigger than actuality homeless. But in this case the letter-writer is actually bright that lying for them (again) is not an option. So for the aboriginal time in about eight years of accomplishing this, I accept no admonition to offer. If you do, allotment away.

Parents who accept to accept that actuality annihilation but absolutely beeline is a sin: Attending at what you’re doing. In the name of Jesus Christ who adequate the anemic and died for the adversity of the world—the Jesus you’ve affidavit your activity to emulating—please attending at what you’re doing:

Dear John,

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My name is [deleted]. I’m a genderfluid, panual Christian. I’m a 17-year-old aerial academy senior. I alive in rural Middle Tennessee with my Southern Baptist Pastor ancestor and my ultra-conservative mom and brother.

I afresh approved to appear out to them, cerebration it would be a weight off my shoulders. When I did my parents put me on lockdown. I wasn’t accustomed to go anywhere, do anything, or accomplish any claimed electronics after absolute supervision.

Worst of all was my dad adage I wasn’t a Christian. I was affected to abdicate singing in my abbey choir and acclaim team, and was told that I wouldn’t be accustomed to resume such activities until I accepted my sins to the church.

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After a while I became re-convinced that, of course, my dad was right. The Bible was right. I was in sin. So I gave it up. I told them that they were right, that I wasn’t gay, that I bare help, etc. I anticipation it would accomplish things bigger for me. It didn’t. I could sing and advise like I could before, but it wasn’t the same. I acquainted trapped again.

Once again, I began absent to die. These animosity hadn’t alike aback afore I came out. I started cheating abaft my parents’ backs, account as abundant gender-affirming, uality-affirming, and progressive-Christian being as I possibly could. Your blog posts were like a analgesic to me during this time. I began to bethink that I wasn’t alone, and that Jesus loves me for who I am.

This time I told the accomplished truth. It was all apparent now. My dad absent it. He took abroad my phone, car keys, and laptop access. Coming Out, Part Deux. I was put on an alike beneath bridle than I was the aboriginal go-round.

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But this time it was alike worse, because this time my dad alleged me demon-possessed to my face, said I was a disgrace, a liar, a poison, and that for him to anytime try to clean our relationship, I would accept to “get appropriate with God.”

I can’t lie again. I won’t go aback to that hell. But I don’t apperceive what to do.

I adulation Jesus. I adulation the act of academic adoration in church. I adulation singing praises to God amidst others accomplishing the same. But I can’t do that any more. I can’t do any of it.

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Maybe my dad’s right, and I’m possessed, or maybe I’m right, and God loves me for who I am.

I additionally adulation my dad. He aloof absolutely wants what’s best for me. I don’t appetite to aching him or my mom, who stood by him “like a acceptable wife should.”

What do I do? They won’t accept to reason. I’m not old abundant to leave. I don’t apperceive how I can stay.

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Thanks for listening. It agency a lot.

I’m the columnist of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question:

Paperback. Kindle. NookBook. Signed and inscribed by me according to your direction.

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